How to Deal with the Naysayers
Wherever you go, there will be naysayers. Everyone encounters them. So, figuring out what to do with them is better time spent than trying to avoid them. They’ll come in surprising forms anyway. They might be your parents, a friend, a teacher, a boss, or somebody you look up to.
When you feel deep in your bones that you know what you’re made to do, find someone you trust, who genuinely likes you, and has your best interest in mind and run it by them. You’ll likely get a response like “of course that’s what you should be doing, I’m not the least bit surprised.” Not sure who these people are? They’re the ones who were honest when you asked them about that one person you were dating, they’re there through all the highs and lows, you know you can tell them anything without being judged all the while they’ll be honest with you.
And then as you start sharing it with others, you’re going to encounter people who might not be excited for you. For a second, let’s consider why that might be the case: selfishly they want you to keep working for them and they’re self-serving; they simply may not understand why anyone would do it; they may be worried about your future because of their own life experiences; or they may not have seen someone like you successfully do it before. Sometimes we may never know, and we have to be okay with that.
A friend of mine and her husband just sold their home and bought an RV to travel around the U.S. with their two sons. Did people tell them they thought they were crazy? Yep! Did they do it anyway?! Of course they did because they knew that’s the kind of family they wanted to be in this season of life!
Believe me when I say I’ve heard it all. Between going to seminary, pastoring, preaching, consulting with churches…I have had my fair share of people tell me in one way or another that I wouldn’t succeed. And most cautioned me under the guise of “I have the best intensions for you.”
When the resistance comes your way ask yourself these 3 questions about the people from which it comes:
1. How well do they know you and your gifts, experiences, and expertise?
2. Do they lose anything if you go ahead with it?
3. Do you honestly care about their opinion?
If you’re anything like me, when you’re exceptionally loyal it can be challenging to know whose opinions of you and your calling to trust. People likely don’t commit to you at the same levels that you do to them. So, when you tell people to whom you’re loyal about your calling and they aren’t supportive, it can really hurt. The reality is, their response probably has nothing to do with you and your success in your calling, it’s likely all about them and what they lose if you step out into your destiny.
One of the keys to facing the resistance you will encounter when you step out and be who you were made to be is to surround yourself with the right people. The people who care for you, who genuinely like you, who would dig a hole in a roof to get you healed (there’s an incredible story found in the Bible in the Book of Luke chapter 5 about a group of friends who literally do this), and who will tell it to you straight when you need some encouragement and courage to take the first step and go after your dreams! These are the voices to listen to.
And to the others? Brené Brown offers this response in her Netflix special (which I can't recommend enough if you haven't watched it yet!):
“If you are not in the arena getting your [butt] kicked on occasion because you are being brave, I am not interested in or opened to your feedback about my work. Period.”
You will face resistance and naysayers as you courageously become all you were created to be! And when (not if) you do, let Theodore Roosevelt’s words give you courage:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. (Paris April 23,1910).
Your destiny is worth it! Surround yourself with your people and do what you were made for!