My new self-care routine during these volatile and uncertain times

Anyone else feeling overly anxious these days? I used to pride myself in being able to handle the daily stresses of life by eating well, sleeping well, daily time in the Bible, praying, being active, and a weekly relaxing bath.

These things are not enough to keep the anxiety at bay for me right now though.

And it’s okay to not be okay. This is always true. And this is especially true right now.

Here’s the reality: I have no idea when this season of extreme volatility, ambiguity, change, and uncertainty will subside to the point where what we used to do to keep the anxiety and stress at bay will have the same effect again.

So, when I realized that what I was doing wasn’t working the way I expected or imagined it to, I decided not to try harder, rather try something different because I'd love to still do more than just survive this season if at all possible.

It feels like my needs are changing as much as the news headlines right now. So, the “routine” part of my self-care right now is to constantly check in with myself and see what I need. Because what I needed last week might not be what I need this week. What I needed yesterday might not be what I need today.

So, here are a few different things that I’m finding to be especially helpful as a part of my self-care routine in the midst of one of the most volatile, ambiguous, changing, and uncertain seasons.

Tapping into My Childhood

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to spend some time thinking back about how I used to play and have fun as a child. I’m in a small group right now and we’re reading Adele Calhoun’s Spiritual Disciplines Handbook (not the whole thing of course), and that week we were focusing on rest and what it means for us to incorporate adequate rest into the rhythm of our lives.

I thought back to how much I loved pretending I was in the Olympics and pretending I was a detective. I also loved reading. I especially loved reading Nancy Drew books. And then I realized I hadn’t read for fun in several years. So, I downloaded a collection of Agatha Christie books, have been sitting by the fire by myself, and letting myself get lost in the world of classic mystery novels. I can’t tell you how genuinely refreshing it has been for me these past couple of weeks to take a genuine break doing something that I have loved doing since I was a child, but that I had simply forgotten to keep doing.

So, what about you, what did you like to play as a child? As Calhoun asks, “How does your past experience affect your ability to play today? What is fun for you right now? Plan some time for play and fun into your week.”

Creating the Illusion of Solitude

As an introvert and homebody (who also happens to love traveling the world), part of my regular self-care routine used to be enjoying time alone in my house. As you can imagine, this hasn’t happened hardly at all for the past 7 months. The only times I find myself by myself lately are going for a walk or run alone or when I’m driving somewhere (which obviously isn’t often).

So, I've gotten creative about ways to trick myself into feeling like I'm at home alone. I use my noise-canceling headphones constantly during the week while I work. I also get up earlier on the weekends than I do during the week (like 5 AM early), before anyone else, so that I can have some alone time before the rest of the house wakes up and our two little ones want constant attention from mom and dad. Is it convenient? Not really. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Getting a Daily Dose of Laughter

Besides reading and "solitude," I'm incorporating a daily dose of laughter into my new self-care routine. Remembering a road trip in Thailand a number of years ago helped me understand why I've been ready for a good laugh by the end of the day. It’s definitely a laugh or cry kind of season.

I was traveling in the Northwest part of Thailand with a couple of other pastors and leaders of a non-profit that we support. We delivered much-needed food to some of the world’s poorest people, drove by refugee camps filled twice over with people from Myanmar (I learned that this is one of the reasons why human trafficking is so bad in this region because people simply don’t have an identity there), and saw some of the devastating effects of Myanmar’s military regime on their people now living in Thailand.

One day while in the car, one of my friends commented that he thought that since we had so much time in the car together that we’d be spending a lot of time talking about deep things. But honestly, none of us had the capacity to. Our hearts were so heavy from our daily activities and conversations with Thai leaders and refugees that we spent more time joking and laughing during our road trips than anything else.

These days, I find my heart similarly heavy, but for a lot of different reasons. And now when this happens, I know that I need a good laugh at the end of the day (if not earlier). Whether it’s sharing laughter with colleagues on a zoom call, or with my 3-year-old after he tells a knock-knock joke, or with my 7-month-old after tickling him, or with my husband while watching a sitcom after our boys are asleep, laughter has become a daily necessity in this season.

Making time for fun, solitude, and laughter as part of my new self-care 'routine' is helping me de-stress in this very stressful season. No two days are alike, and for someone who loves routines, it adds to the stress of this season. So, constantly checking in with myself to know what I need today is essential for making self-care work for me right now. I know we'll survive this, but I still hope for more than that if possible.

How about you? What is getting you through this season? How have you figured out what you need right now to care well for yourself? Tell me in the comments below.