What No One Told Me About Leadership

The first time someone asked me if I was going to go into ministry, I literally laughed out loud and confidently shook my head and said, “no.” I had just spoken to my home congregation of 5,000 over two days and three services having just come home from spending time visiting our sister church in rural Tanzania. In fact, the first time I spoke to an audience that wasn’t in a classroom setting (aka that wasn’t part of a school assignment) was while I was in that rural Tanzanian village. I was 21 and had an interpreter next to me translating my message into Swahili. I couldn’t have articulated it then, but I now know that I didn’t think I would be a good fit for ministry because truthfully, I didn’t see examples of women like myself in leadership roles.

Fast forward five years and a Master’s Degree in Teaching later. I turned down what would have been an incredibly well-paying job because, even though I would have been good at it, I knew my heart just wasn’t in it. And instead, I found myself walking out of my job at the Minnesota State Capitol and heading to an interview for a job as a Youth Pastor.

I got that job in Youth Ministry and instantly was thrust into my first formal leadership role. I loved working with youth, I loved empowering them, and I loved helping them make sense of what the Bible said for their daily lives. Of those things I was confident. But, with that first job in ministry also came volunteers, some who were twice my age and had been part of the church I worked at for decades. I knew I needed them, and I knew they were probably more important to the success of the youth ministry than I was.

But moving from a position where I could do the technical things well to now needing to equip and empower others to do it well were two very different things! I knew all the right things that I needed “to do” to lead a successful youth ministry. But because leadership is all about people, not simply doing the right stuff, I realized there was way more to leadership than I’d ever fathomed.

And so, began my journey of learning what it means to be an effective leader. Because when you realize you have a following and a responsibility to others, there’s no better time to focus on your leadership skills than now! So, in my free time, I started learning everything I could about leadership.

As an introvert, who admittedly talks and laughs loudly and genuinely loves people, but is an introvert nonetheless, I grew up loving to work on things by myself. Because let’s be real, usually working with others meant things would take more time, and let’s just say patience does not come naturally to me. So, while I loved people, learning to work well with them was something I genuinely had to learn how to do. Thankfully, it’s something anyone can learn how to do and it works for every personality type!

And based on the countless conversations I’ve had with others in leadership over the years (and the people that work with them), I think it’s something most people need to learn how to do. Let’s face it, most of us naturally think our ideas genuinely are the best and believe our job is simply to convince others of that or go ahead regardless of what they think. For many of us, the essentials of leadership:

• Genuinely believing that everyone has something significant to contribute;
• Serving, equipping and empowering others; and
• Giving our power and authority away to others

does’t come naturally. If they did, our world would be in a completely different state of affairs.

I didn’t seek leadership out. But when I found myself in a position where I had moved from doing all the technical stuff well to needing to equip and empower others to do it well, I knew that developing my leadership skills was one of the best investments I could make! Truthfully, my success in that role depended on it.

Since taking that job in Youth Ministry nearly 15 years ago, I’ve had the opportunity to learn how to be an effective leader from some of the most incredible leaders around the globe. Now, with countless hours of leadership experience (you all know I have learned more from the mistakes I’ve made than the times I did things well), numerous mentors and other leaders inviting me into leadership roles and speaking into my life, and continuing to hone my leadership skills, I’ve had the privilege of equipping and empowering over 1,000 other leaders.

And one of my absolute favorite parts of leadership is empowering others and watching them step out and do things better than I ever could have! No one told me that about leadership.