How I Learned to Say No and Avoid Burnout

One of the biggest challenges in leadership is avoiding burnout. Which can be really challenging when your list of responsibilities keeps increasing, the demands on you seem endless, and you frequently get asked to do and be part of more. And when you have a passion for people and enjoy seeing others happy, this can manifest into people-pleasing and having a really hard time telling people no. After all, we genuinely want to help people! The challenge is that the demands on us and the requests of us are going never going to stop. Let’s face it, people think you’re valuable and want you to be a part of what they’re doing! But if you continue to say “yes” to everything, burnout is inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be.

The reality is that we simply cannot manage everything that everyone else would like us to help with, lead, or be involved with. And let’s be real, who doesn’t feel flattered being invited to lead or serve in some capacity?! I know because I was there too. Until I figured out how to set better boundaries so that I wasn’t just surviving my schedule but thriving in it.

If you want to avoid burnout from overloaded schedules, you are going to have to learn how to say “no.” And yes, I know this can be tricky because it’s so flattering being asked to help with something and being able to actually help with it. Who doesn’t love feeling purposeful and needed? We all do! And saying “yes” to things is likely what got you to where you are right now to begin with! So, it isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. But it can be if your schedule is already overloaded leaving little to no breathing room. 

Once you’re teetering on burnout, you aren’t going to be able to be helpful to anyone else, save yourself.

I learned how to avoid burnout by figuring out what to say “yes” to. The reality is that the best way to learn how to say “no” is by learning what you want (or need) to say “yes” to. Every time you say “yes” to something, you are saying “no” to something else. It might be sleep, your health, your mission, relationships, working out, time with you family, time for your hobbies, or even time to start working on that dream that’s been in your heart for years.

Figuring out what to say “yes” (and “no”) to starts and ends with your priorities. This is as true of your work schedule as it is with your personal schedule. Your priorities are determined by your crystal-clear vision, mission, and values. These help you clarify why you are doing what you are doing. And knowing this enables you to prioritize requests by what aligns with your priorities enabling you to say “no” to what doesn’t. 

“If people can’t remember the mission statement, they have forgotten the mission.” Donald Miller

When you’re ready to get crystal-clear about your priorities and avoid burnout, set aside 2-hours to answer these questions and start getting specific about what to say “yes” to, so that you know what to say “no” to:

• Where are you going?
• What do you want to accomplish?
• What happens if you don’t accomplish this?
• Why does it matter where you’re going?
• What are your core values?
• What behaviors, actions, and activities specifically reflect your values and help you achieve your mission?
• What are the 4 or 5 priorities that will enable you to achieve your mission and align with your values?

Saying “no” to something doesn’t mean you aren’t flattered that you were asked. But the only way you will be able to consistently move forward with your priorities and your mission is by being intentional with how your time is spent. So, get clear about what to say “yes” to and flex your “no” muscle in a polite way. You saying “no” because it doesn’t align with your priorities means someone else gets to say “yes” because it aligns with theirs!